{"id":1660,"date":"2022-05-24T21:11:56","date_gmt":"2022-05-24T17:11:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dilimizvarligimiz.az\/?p=1660"},"modified":"2022-05-24T21:11:56","modified_gmt":"2022-05-24T17:11:56","slug":"sonun-baslangici-hekay%c9%99","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dilimizvarligimiz.az\/sonun-baslangici-hekay%c9%99\/","title":{"rendered":"Sonun ba\u015flan\u011f\u0131c\u0131 &#8211; Hekay\u0259"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em><strong>P\u0259rvan\u0259 Bayramq\u0131z\u0131<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u2013 N\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn atamla evl\u0259nm\u0259k ist\u0259yirs\u0259n?<br \/>\n\u2013 Atan\u0131 sevir\u0259m.<br \/>\n\u2013 Sevdiyiniz \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn evl\u0259ndiyinizi n\u0259d\u0259n bilim?<br \/>\n\u2013 A\u011fl\u0131na ba\u015fqa hans\u0131 s\u0259b\u0259b g\u0259lir?<br \/>\n\u2013 B\u0259lk\u0259, evin\u0259 sahib olmaq ist\u0259yirsiniz?<br \/>\n\u2013 Evim var.<br \/>\n\u2013 Puluna.<br \/>\n\u2013 Ona da ehtiyac\u0131m yoxdur. \u2013 Qad\u0131n g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259yib \u0259lav\u0259 etdi: \u2013 \u00d6vladlar\u0131m h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 pul g\u00f6nd\u0259rirl\u0259r, \u00f6z\u00fcm d\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259yir\u0259m.<br \/>\n\u2013 Niy\u0259 \u00f6vladlar\u0131n\u0131zla ya\u015fam\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z?<br \/>\n\u2013 Xaricd\u0259dirl\u0259r.<br \/>\n\u2013 Lap yax\u015f\u0131.<br \/>\n\u2013 N\u0259yi yax\u015f\u0131?<br \/>\n\u2013 Rahat ya\u015fayars\u0131n\u0131z, \u00f6lk\u0259l\u0259ri g\u0259z\u0259rsiniz.<br \/>\n\u2013 Bu m\u0259nim\u00e7\u00fcn rahatl\u0131q deyil. El\u0259 bilirs\u0259n bu ya\u015fdan sonra V\u0259t\u0259nd\u0259n ayr\u0131 xo\u015fb\u0259xt olmaq olur?<br \/>\n\u2013 \u00d6vladlar\u0131n\u0131zdan ayr\u0131 nec\u0259? Xo\u015fb\u0259xtsinizmi?<br \/>\n\u2013 Buna d\u00f6zm\u0259k olur. Bilir\u0259m ki, i\u015fl\u0259yirl\u0259r, g\u00fcnl\u0259ri d\u0259 xo\u015f ke\u00e7ir.<br \/>\n\u2013 Siz burdan gets\u0259niz, sizc\u0259, V\u0259t\u0259n n\u0259s\u0259 itir\u0259c\u0259k?<br \/>\n\u2013 S\u0259n atana g\u00f6r\u0259 getm\u0259yimi ist\u0259yirs\u0259n. S\u0259n\u0259 g\u0259r\u0259k olmaya bil\u0259r\u0259m, amma b\u00fct\u00fcn vicdanl\u0131 adamlar \u00f6z rahatl\u0131qlar\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00f6lk\u0259sind\u0259n gets\u0259, c\u0259miyy\u0259td\u0259 bo\u015fluq yaranar. H\u0259r k\u0259sin v\u0259t\u0259nda\u015fl\u0131q borcu var. \u00c7al\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131m m\u00fc\u0259ssis\u0259d\u0259 laz\u0131mam, i\u015fimi bilir\u0259m, kollektiv\u0259 z\u0259r\u0259r vurmuram.<br \/>\n\u2013 G\u00f6r\u00fcr\u0259m \u015fikay\u0259t ed\u0259c\u0259yiniz he\u00e7 n\u0259 yoxdur, el\u0259 is\u0259 a\u00e7\u0131q deyim, atamdan \u0259l \u00e7\u0259kin.<br \/>\n\u2013 G\u0259ncs\u0259n, q\u0259lbin n\u0259y\u0259 ehtiyac\u0131 oldu\u011funu bilmirs\u0259n. \u0130nsan ya\u015f\u0131n el\u0259 bir h\u0259ddin\u0259 g\u0259lir ki, t\u0259klikd\u0259n q\u0259ribs\u0259yir, dosta ehtiyac\u0131 olur \u2013 k\u00f6n\u00fcl dostuna. Fikirl\u0259rini b\u00f6l\u00fc\u015fm\u0259y\u0259 h\u0259md\u0259m axtar\u0131r. Buna g\u0259nclikd\u0259 d\u0259 ehtiyac olur, amma onda enerji bol oldu\u011fundan h\u0259r \u015feyin \u00f6hd\u0259dind\u0259n g\u0259lir, itkiy\u0259 d\u0259 d\u00f6z\u00fcrs\u0259n. Bu ya\u015fda sevm\u0259k d\u0259 \u00e7\u0259tindir, ayr\u0131lmaq da. Qovu\u015fmaqsa h\u0259r ikisind\u0259n.<br \/>\nG\u00f6zl\u0259ri dolsa da g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<br \/>\n\u2013 M\u0259nc\u0259, \u00f6hd\u0259sind\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259rsiniz.<br \/>\n\u2013 Q\u0259z\u0259bl\u0259 yana\u015fanda hadis\u0259l\u0259ri d\u00fczg\u00fcn qiym\u0259tl\u0259ndirm\u0259k olmur. Bir d\u0259\u0259&#8230; ax\u0131 atan\u0131 sevir\u0259m. \u00c7ox nigaranam ondan.<br \/>\n\u2013 Nigaran olmay\u0131n. M\u0259n varam.<br \/>\n\u2013 \u018flb\u0259tt\u0259, varsan. S\u0259ni \u00e7ox sevir. S\u0259n d\u0259 onu sevirs\u0259n. M\u0259ns\u0259 h\u0259r ikinizi sevir\u0259m. Bir yerd\u0259 ya\u015fayar\u0131q, mehriban ail\u0259 kimi&#8230;<br \/>\n\u2013 \u0130mkan verin, atamla xo\u015fb\u0259xt ya\u015fay\u0131m.<br \/>\n\u2013 G\u0259lin k\u00f6\u00e7\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n, atana kim qay\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6st\u0259r\u0259c\u0259k?<br \/>\n\u2013 \u00d6z\u00fcm.<br \/>\n\u2013 B\u0259lk\u0259, uza\u011fa getdin.<br \/>\n\u2013 Onu da aparacam.<br \/>\n\u2013 Getm\u0259s\u0259?<br \/>\n\u2013 Siz yoldan \u00e7\u0131xarmasan\u0131z ged\u0259r.<br \/>\n\u2013 B\u0259z\u0259n sevdikl\u0259rimizi bilm\u0259d\u0259n incidirik. Valideynl\u0259r d\u0259 \u00e7ox vaxt \u00f6vladlar\u0131n\u0131n ist\u0259yinin \u0259leyhin\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131rlar. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrl\u0259r ki, \u0259n yax\u015f\u0131 \u015feyl\u0259ri \u00f6zl\u0259ri \u00f6vladlar\u0131na ver\u0259 bil\u0259rl\u0259r. Zamansa \u0259slind\u0259 onlar\u0131n balalar\u0131n\u0131 b\u0259db\u0259xt etdiyini g\u00f6st\u0259rir.<br \/>\n\u2013 Nec\u0259?<br \/>\n\u2013 Birini sevdiyi pe\u015f\u0259d\u0259n \u00e7\u0259kindirm\u0259kl\u0259, birini s\u0259rb\u0259stliyini \u0259lind\u0259n almaqla, birini d\u0259&#8230;<br \/>\nOnun susdu\u011funu g\u00f6r\u00fcb s\u0259birsizlikl\u0259:<br \/>\n\u2013 H\u0259? \u2013 dey\u0259 yar\u0131da saxlad\u0131\u011f\u0131 fikri s\u00f6yl\u0259m\u0259sini ist\u0259di.<br \/>\n\u2013 &#8230; birini d\u0259 sevdiyind\u0259n ay\u0131rmaqla.<br \/>\n\u2013 Siz bunlar\u0131n hans\u0131n\u0131 etdiniz?<br \/>\n\u2013 He\u00e7 hans\u0131n\u0131.<br \/>\n\u2013 B\u0259lk\u0259, buna g\u00f6r\u0259 t\u0259klikd\u0259n h\u0259md\u0259m axtar\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z. B\u0259lk\u0259, ba\u015fqa c\u00fcr ets\u0259ydiniz \u00f6vladlar\u0131n\u0131z \u00f6z xo\u015fb\u0259xtlikl\u0259ri \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn sizi qoyub getm\u0259zdil\u0259r.<br \/>\n\u2013 \u00d6vladlar\u0131ma xob\u0259xtliyi ba\u015fqa c\u00fcr anlatm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m.<br \/>\n\u2013 N\u0259 c\u00fcr?<br \/>\n\u2013 \u0130st\u0259kl\u0259rinin arxas\u0131nca gets\u0259l\u0259r, xo\u015fb\u0259xt olacaqlar\u0131n\u0131 demi\u015fdim.<br \/>\n\u2013 G\u00fcnah \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fczd\u0259dir.<br \/>\n\u2013 Dem\u0259k asand\u0131r. H\u0259l\u0259 g\u0259ncs\u0259n, t\u0259cr\u00fcb\u0259sizs\u0259n.<br \/>\n\u2013 \u00d6vladlar\u0131n\u0131z\u0131n yerin\u0259 olsayd\u0131m sizi d\u0259 aparard\u0131m, ya da sizin yeriniz\u0259 olsayd\u0131m onlar\u0131n yan\u0131na ged\u0259rdim.<br \/>\n\u2013 B\u0259s \u00f6z yerin\u0259 olsan hans\u0131 q\u0259rar\u0131 ver\u0259rdin?<br \/>\n\u2013 Q\u0259rar\u0131m\u0131 bilirsiniz, atamdan ay\u0131rlma\u011f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 ist\u0259yir\u0259m.<br \/>\n\u2013 \u018fmins\u0259n?<br \/>\n\u2013 \u018fmin\u0259m.<br \/>\n\u2013 D\u00fczg\u00fcn q\u0259rar oldu\u011funu n\u0259d\u0259n bilirs\u0259n?<br \/>\n\u2013 D\u00fczg\u00fcn\u00fc budur \u2013 m\u0259ni o b\u00f6y\u00fcd\u00fcb, t\u0259k buraxmayacam, ya\u015fl\u0131 vaxt\u0131nda \u00f6z\u00fcm qulluq ed\u0259c\u0259m.<br \/>\n\u2013 Atan ya\u015fl\u0131 deyil.<br \/>\n\u2013 \u0130yirmi ya\u015f\u0131nda da deyil.<br \/>\n\u2013 Yax\u015f\u0131. Nec\u0259 ist\u0259yirs\u0259n el\u0259 olsun.<br \/>\n\u2013 S\u00f6z verirsiniz?<br \/>\n\u2013 Bu \u00e7ox \u00e7\u0259tindir. Amma \u00e7al\u0131\u015facam s\u0259ni incitm\u0259yim.<br \/>\nRestorandan \u00e7\u0131xanda q\u0131z \u201cvay\u201d deyib eyn\u0259yini taxt\u0131. \u0130stid\u0259n h\u0259r yer yan\u0131rd\u0131. O is\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259di:<br \/>\n\u2013 G\u00fcn\u0259\u015fd\u0259n qorxmazlar, onun at\u0259\u015fi d\u0259 g\u00f6z\u0259ldir. Sudan l\u0259zz\u0259t ala-ala i\u00e7irs\u0259n, \u0259n g\u00f6z\u0259l geyiml\u0259rini yay f\u0259slind\u0259 geyinirs\u0259n, istirah\u0259t\u0259 yayda gedirs\u0259n, k\u00f6lg\u0259nin q\u0259drini d\u0259 G\u00fcn\u0259\u015f bildirir. Q\u0131\u015fda bunlar\u0131n he\u00e7 biri olmur. Yaln\u0131z can\u0131n\u0131n hay\u0131na qal\u0131rsan. \u0130sti ocaq, qal\u0131n geyim, v\u0259ssalam. Bay\u0131ra \u00e7\u0131xma\u011f\u0131n g\u0259lmir. \u00d6m\u00fcr d\u0259 bel\u0259dir.<br \/>\n\u2013 \u0130sti ocaq axtar\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z, o da var\u0131n\u0131zd\u0131r.<br \/>\n\u2013 Oca\u011f\u0131n q\u0131ra\u011f\u0131nda oxuyaca\u011f\u0131n bir kitaba m\u00fctl\u0259q ehtiyac\u0131n olur. V\u0259r\u0259ql\u0259y\u0259s\u0259n, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc tapasan orda.<br \/>\n\u2013 O kitab atamd\u0131rm\u0131?<br \/>\n\u2013 S\u0259nc\u0259?<br \/>\n\u2013 M\u0259nc\u0259, h\u0259.<br \/>\n\u2013 Birind\u0259n kitab \u0259sirg\u0259y\u0259rs\u0259nmi?<br \/>\n\u2013 Sevdiyim kitabd\u0131rsa h\u0259.<br \/>\n\u2013 Q\u0259sd\u0259n bel\u0259 deyirs\u0259n.<br \/>\n\u2013 \u201cH\u0259\u201d des\u0259m neyn\u0259y\u0259rsiniz?<br \/>\n\u2013 He\u00e7 n\u0259.<br \/>\nQad\u0131n\u0131n s\u0259mimi m\u00fcnasib\u0259tind\u0259n yum\u015falm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. G\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcyl\u0259 g\u0259tirdiyi q\u0259z\u0259bi sanki restoran\u0131n bir k\u00fcnc\u00fcn\u0259 atm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Ayr\u0131lmaq ist\u0259mirdi. S\u00f6hb\u0259ti xo\u015funa g\u0259lmi\u015fdi.<br \/>\n\u2013 B\u0259lk\u0259, biz yen\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u0259k&#8230;<br \/>\n\u2013 Q\u0259rar\u0131m\u0131 bilm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u0259k ist\u0259yirs\u0259ns\u0259, indid\u0259n deyim: atandan uzaq durma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015facam.<br \/>\n\u2013 Bel\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 olar \u2013 dey\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259kinin \u0259leyhin\u0259 olaraq \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc s\u0259rt g\u00f6st\u0259rib s\u00f6yl\u0259di.<br \/>\n\u2013 Sa\u011f ol.<br \/>\n\u2013 Siz d\u0259.<br \/>\n\u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc q\u0131nay\u0131rd\u0131: \u201cBu ya\u015fda sevgi c\u0259zas\u0131z olmur. Haz\u0131r olmal\u0131san, d\u00f6zm\u0259lis\u0259n. B\u0259lk\u0259, unudum. Yox, olmayacaq. Ax\u0131 \u00f6mr\u00fcmd\u0259 bu c\u00fcr sevm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m\u201d.<br \/>\nBilirdi ki, ruhuna yax\u0131n olan adam\u0131 indi tap\u0131b. Arzulad\u0131\u011f\u0131 sevgi g\u0259nclik \u00f6t\u0259nd\u0259n sonra g\u0259lmi\u015fdi. \u0130ndiy\u0259c\u0259n he\u00e7 n\u0259d\u0259n bel\u0259 \u0259min olmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Xo\u015fb\u0259xt olaca\u011f\u0131na inan\u0131rd\u0131.<br \/>\nArxadan ayaq s\u0259si g\u0259ldi. H\u0259nirti basd\u0131. Dayand\u0131. Geri d\u00f6nm\u0259yib g\u00f6zl\u0259di. Arxadak\u0131 adam qar\u015f\u0131ya ke\u00e7di. T\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259:<br \/>\n\u2013 S\u0259n? \u2013 dedi.<br \/>\n\u2013 S\u00f6hb\u0259timiz bar\u0259sind\u0259 atama he\u00e7 n\u0259 dem\u0259yin.<br \/>\n\u2013 Yax\u015f\u0131.<br \/>\n\u00dcz\u00fcnd\u0259 el\u0259 bir mehribanl\u0131q vard\u0131 ki, q\u0131z bu bax\u0131\u015flardan utand\u0131. T\u0259rp\u0259nm\u0259yib baxma\u011fa davam etdi.<br \/>\n\u2013 Daha n\u0259d\u0259n narahatsan, dem\u0259y\u0259c\u0259m dedim. And i\u00e7m\u0259yi sevmir\u0259m.<br \/>\n\u2013 Siz\u0259 inanmaq ist\u0259yir\u0259m.\u2013 bir az yum\u015faq tonla dill\u0259ndi.<br \/>\n\u2013 Niy\u0259? Ax\u0131 m\u0259n\u0259 b\u0259l\u0259d deyils\u0259n.<br \/>\n\u2013 Bilirsiniz&#8230; \u2013 S\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc yar\u0131da k\u0259sdi. \u2013 Yax\u015f\u0131, m\u0259n gedim, sa\u011fl\u0131qla qal\u0131n.<br \/>\nDinm\u0259di. Q\u0259lbi narahatl\u0131qla d\u00f6y\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc. Bird\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fc s\u00f6hb\u0259ti gedib atas\u0131na ba\u015fqa c\u00fcr \u00e7atd\u0131rsa nec\u0259? M\u0259ni ist\u0259mir, atas\u0131ndan uzaq durma\u011f\u0131m\u0131 tap\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Onu zorla yola g\u0259tir\u0259si deyil\u0259m ki. G\u0259r\u0259k \u00fcr\u0259yiml\u0259 m\u00fcbariz\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flay\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Qap\u0131n\u0131n z\u0259ngini dalbadal basd\u0131. Atas\u0131 qap\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7d\u0131.<br \/>\n\u2013 N\u0259 gec g\u0259ldin?<br \/>\n\u2013 R\u0259fiq\u0259ml\u0259 bir az h\u0259rl\u0259ndik.<br \/>\nHe\u00e7 biri daha dinm\u0259di. Atas\u0131 telefonunu g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb ota\u011f\u0131na ke\u00e7di. O is\u0259 \u00e7antas\u0131n\u0131 qoyub \u0259l-\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc yuma\u011fa getdi. Atas\u0131n\u0131n telefonu qurdalay\u0131b<br \/>\ndilxor halda \u00e7arpay\u0131n\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 atd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u0259s\u0259 d\u0259, narahat oldu\u011funu hiss etdi. Yuyunduqdan sonra yan\u0131na g\u0259ldi.<br \/>\n\u2013 Yem\u0259k yemis\u0259n?<br \/>\n\u2013 H\u0259 \u2013 deyib universitetd\u0259ki v\u0259ziyy\u0259ti soru\u015fdu.<br \/>\n\u2013 He\u00e7. Maraql\u0131 bir \u015fey yoxdur.<br \/>\n\u2013 Yax\u015f\u0131san?<br \/>\n\u2013 Yax\u015f\u0131yam.<br \/>\n\u2013 El\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u00fcrs\u0259n.<br \/>\n\u2013 He\u00e7 n\u0259 yoxdur. \u2013 Yax\u0131nla\u015f\u0131b:<br \/>\n\u2013 S\u0259ni \u00e7ox ist\u0259yir\u0259m ata. \u2013 dedi.<br \/>\nQucaqla\u015fd\u0131lar.<br \/>\n\u2013 S\u0259n\u0259 pis n\u0259s\u0259 olma\u011f\u0131na d\u00f6z\u0259 bilm\u0259r\u0259m.<br \/>\n\u2013 M\u0259n\u0259 he\u00e7 n\u0259 olmaz \u2013 atas\u0131 g\u00fcld\u00fc.<br \/>\n\u2013 He\u00e7 n\u0259?<br \/>\n\u2013 H\u0259.<br \/>\n\u2013 B\u0259s o qad\u0131n?<br \/>\n\u2013 Yax\u015f\u0131 insand\u0131r.<br \/>\nAtas\u0131n\u0131n q\u0259tiyy\u0259tini duyub soru\u015fdu:<br \/>\n\u2013 \u018fmins\u0259n?<br \/>\n\u2013 H\u0259.<br \/>\n\u2013 N\u0259d\u0259n bu q\u0259d\u0259r arxay\u0131nsan?<br \/>\n\u2013 Ona yax\u0131ndan b\u0259l\u0259d oldu\u011fum \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn.<br \/>\n\u2013 T\u0259rifl\u0259y\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n, bilir\u0259m. B\u0259lk\u0259, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc s\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u00f6st\u0259rir.<br \/>\nAtas\u0131 q\u0259hq\u0259h\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kdi.<br \/>\n\u2013 Biz insanlar\u0131 sosial \u015f\u0259b\u0259k\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n tan\u0131ma\u011fa ad\u0259t etm\u0259mi\u015fik.<br \/>\n\u2013 Sosial \u015f\u0259b\u0259k\u0259d\u0259 d\u0259 kimin nec\u0259 oldu\u011funu bilm\u0259k olur.<br \/>\n\u2013 N\u0259d\u0259n bilirs\u0259n biri pisdir, biri yax\u015f\u0131?<br \/>\n\u2013 Payla\u015f\u0131mlar\u0131ndan.<br \/>\nAtas\u0131 yen\u0259 q\u0259\u015f\u015f el\u0259di:<br \/>\n\u2013 Hans\u0131 pis adam yazacaq ki, m\u0259ni ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131n, \u00e7ox pis adamam?<br \/>\n\u2013 T\u0259rbiy\u0259siz adam t\u0259rbiy\u0259siz s\u00f6zl\u0259r yaz\u0131r da. \u018fg\u0259r birini yax\u015f\u0131 adam kimi tan\u0131yar\u0131qsa, bir-iki statusundan, yaxud inboksa yazd\u0131qlar\u0131ndan sonra \u0259slind\u0259 nec\u0259 \u0259d\u0259bsiz oldu\u011funu \u00f6yr\u0259nirik.<br \/>\n\u2013 Siz adamlar\u0131n cizgil\u0259rin\u0259, mimikalar\u0131na b\u0259l\u0259d deyilsiniz. Haz\u0131r smaylikl\u0259rl\u0259 g\u00fcl\u00fcb, a\u011flay\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z.<br \/>\n\u2013 Nolsun, v\u0259ziyy\u0259timizi ki ifad\u0259 edir.<br \/>\n\u2013 Virtual tan\u0131\u015fl\u0131\u011fa al\u0131\u015fan u\u015faq m\u0259n\u0259 adam\u0131 \u201chardan tan\u0131y\u0131rsan?\u201d sual\u0131 verir.<br \/>\n\u0130kisi d\u0259 g\u00fcld\u00fc.<br \/>\nP\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259n k\u00fcl\u0259k divardak\u0131 \u015f\u0259kili t\u0259rp\u0259dirdi. \u015e\u0259kil divar\u0131 s\u00fcrtd\u00fckc\u0259 s\u0259s \u00e7\u0131x\u0131rd\u0131. Sanki o da s\u00f6hb\u0259t\u0259 qar\u0131\u015fmaq ist\u0259yirdi. Eyni anda ikisi d\u0259 yuxar\u0131 baxd\u0131. Atas\u0131 dedi:<br \/>\n\u2013 \u0130ndi \u015f\u0259kill\u0259ri telefonda albom d\u00fcz\u0259ldib saxlay\u0131rlar, daha \u015f\u0259kil \u00e7\u0259kdirib lentd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xaran yoxdur.<br \/>\n\u2013 Ata&#8230;<br \/>\n\u2013 Can!<br \/>\n\u2013 Anam\u0131 unutmusan?<br \/>\n\u2013 Yox.<br \/>\n\u2013 B\u0259s niy\u0259 evl\u0259nm\u0259k ist\u0259yirs\u0259n?<br \/>\n\u2013 G\u0259l, bu bar\u0259d\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fmayaq.<br \/>\n\u2013 Anam\u0131n yerini tutacaq qad\u0131n\u0131n olmas\u0131n\u0131 ist\u0259mir\u0259m.<br \/>\n\u2013 Buna \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmaz. G\u00f6rs\u0259n, s\u0259n d\u0259 sev\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n onu.<br \/>\n\u2013 M\u0259n d\u0259 sev\u0259c\u0259m? Dem\u0259k, s\u0259n onu sevirmi\u015fs\u0259n&#8230; El\u0259 bilirdim qay\u011f\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0259ksin dey\u0259 evl\u0259nirs\u0259n.<br \/>\n\u2013 Sevm\u0259k pis deyil ki, q\u0131z\u0131m. Bir d\u0259&#8230; o sevimlidir.<br \/>\nAz qald\u0131 desin ki, \u201cm\u0259nim d\u0259 xo\u015fuma g\u0259ldi\u201d \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc saxlad\u0131.<br \/>\n\u201cH\u0259, atam daha \u00e7ox olub yan\u0131nda, cazib\u0259sin\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb. Maraql\u0131 s\u00f6hb\u0259t edir. X\u0259tr\u0259 d\u0259y\u0259c\u0259k s\u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 mehribanl\u0131qla deyir. Atam\u0131 ona ba\u011flayan da budur. Q\u0131l\u0131ql\u0131 insanlar\u0131 sevir\u201d.<br \/>\n\u2013 B\u0259z\u0259n kobudlu\u011fum olub. Gec anlam\u0131\u015fam. El\u0259 bilmi\u015f\u0259m cavab qaytaracaq, yaxud yazacaq ki, m\u00fcnasib\u0259timiz bitsin, amma susub. M\u0259ni \u00fczm\u0259yi ist\u0259m\u0259yib. \u00dcmumiyy\u0259tl\u0259, o insanlar\u0131 incitm\u0259yi bacarm\u0131r.<br \/>\nAtas\u0131n\u0131n dedikl\u0259ri il\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fckl\u0259ri uy\u011fun g\u0259ldikc\u0259 q\u0259lbin\u0259 rahatl\u0131q dolsa da q\u0131sqancl\u0131q hissin\u0259 g\u00fcc g\u0259l\u0259 bilmirdi. El\u0259 bilirdi, o qad\u0131n bu ev\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259n g\u00fcn atas\u0131n\u0131 itir\u0259c\u0259k.<br \/>\nSusdular.<br \/>\nSanki s\u00fckut \u0259lini qoynunda \u00e7arpazlay\u0131b otaqda var-g\u0259l edirdi.<\/p>\n<p>S\u0259h\u0259r universitetd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xanda g\u00f6z\u00fc h\u0259min restoran\u0131n qap\u0131s\u0131na dikildi. \u00dcr\u0259yind\u0259n qad\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rm\u0259k ke\u00e7di. G\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n, t\u0259sad\u00fcf\u0259n burda deyil ki? Nahara b\u0259z\u0259n bura g\u0259ldiyini demi\u015fdi.<br \/>\nR\u0259fiq\u0259si onu \u00e7\u0259k\u0259-\u00e7\u0259k\u0259 evl\u0259rin\u0259 aparma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131.<br \/>\n\u2013 Ged\u0259k biz\u0259.<br \/>\n\u2013 Atama dem\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m ax\u0131.<br \/>\n\u2013 Ay q\u0131z, telefonun var da, z\u0259ng el\u0259 de.<br \/>\n\u2013 B\u0259lk\u0259, yat\u0131b oyatmaq ist\u0259mir\u0259m.<br \/>\n\u2013 Ay adamayovu\u015fmaz, a\u00e7\u0131q de ki getmir\u0259m.<br \/>\nK\u00f6n\u00fcls\u00fcz halda telefonu \u00e7\u0131xard\u0131. Atas\u0131 gec cavab verdiyind\u0259n narahat oldu. \u0130kinci d\u0259f\u0259 z\u0259ng etm\u0259k ist\u0259rk\u0259n telefonun ekran\u0131nda h\u0259r \u00fc\u00e7 h\u0259rfin b\u00f6y\u00fck yaz\u0131lan \u201cATA\u201d s\u00f6z\u00fc i\u015f\u0131qland\u0131. H\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259 oxuyanda \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259 bu s\u00f6z\u00fc \u0259zizl\u0259yir, atas\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcn\u00fc z\u0259nn edirdi. Atas\u0131: \u2013 yuxulam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m, \u2013 dey\u0259nd\u0259 t\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcfl\u0259ndi:<br \/>\n\u2013 Oyatd\u0131m s\u0259ni&#8230;<br \/>\n\u2013 T\u0259nb\u0259l\u0259 bu da azd\u0131r.<br \/>\n\u2013 Ata, r\u0259fiq\u0259mgil\u0259 gets\u0259m ac\u0131\u011f\u0131n tutmaz ki?<br \/>\n\u2013 Yox, niy\u0259 ki? Amma gecikm\u0259. S\u0259ni g\u00f6zl\u0259yir\u0259m.<br \/>\n\u2013 Yax\u015f\u0131.<br \/>\nQ\u0131zlar h\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 daxil olanda i\u00e7\u0259rid\u0259n s\u0259s-k\u00fcy g\u0259lirdi. O, qorxub dayand\u0131.<br \/>\n\u2013 Qorxma g\u0259l, atamla anam m\u00fcbahis\u0259 edirl\u0259r.<br \/>\nQ\u0131zdak\u0131 arxay\u0131nl\u0131q onu t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259ndirdi:<br \/>\n\u2013 Nec\u0259 d\u0259 sakit qar\u015f\u0131lay\u0131rsan&#8230;<br \/>\n\u2013 Neyn\u0259yim, \u0259limd\u0259n n\u0259 g\u0259lir? Bir d\u0259 ki sava\u015f\u0131b bar\u0131\u015facaqlar, yen\u0259 sava\u015facaqlar. \u00d6yr\u0259\u015fibl\u0259r.<br \/>\nEv\u0259 girm\u0259k ist\u0259m\u0259di, t\u0259klif etdi ki, h\u0259y\u0259td\u0259 \u0259yl\u0259\u015fsinl\u0259r. R\u0259fiq\u0259si raz\u0131la\u015fmay\u0131b, g\u00fccl\u0259 \u00e7\u0259kib onu i\u00e7\u0259ri sald\u0131. Onlar\u0131 g\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259 ev sahibi ki\u015fi dilxor halda h\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. Qad\u0131nsa q\u0131\u015fq\u0131rma\u011f\u0131na ara verdib qona\u011fa yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131.<br \/>\n\u2013 Xo\u015f g\u0259lmis\u0259n, q\u0131z\u0131m, \u2013 dedi, \u2013 ba\u011f\u0131\u015fla, bir az \u0259s\u0259bil\u0259\u015fmi\u015f\u0259m.<br \/>\n\u2013 Yersiz vaxt g\u0259ldiyim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00fczr ist\u0259yir\u0259m \u2013 deyib pe\u015fman-pe\u015fman qad\u0131na baxd\u0131.<br \/>\n\u2013 Eybi yox narahat olma, hans\u0131 vaxt g\u0259ls\u0259n, bizd\u0259 qov\u011fa e\u015fid\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n\u2013 dedyib qad\u0131n u\u011fundu. \u2013 ad\u0259timizdir \u2013 dedi.<br \/>\nO, m\u0259\u0259tt\u0259l-m\u0259\u0259tt\u0259l qad\u0131n\u0131n tama\u015fa edirdi. Bir q\u0259d\u0259r sonra qad\u0131n otaqdan \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. F\u00fcrs\u0259t tap\u0131b soru\u015fdu:<br \/>\n\u2013 Qorxmursan?<br \/>\n\u2013 N\u0259d\u0259n?<br \/>\n\u2013 Onlar\u0131n sava\u015f\u0131ndan.<br \/>\n\u2013 U\u015faq vaxtlar\u0131mda qorxurdum, indi bezmi\u015f\u0259m.<br \/>\n\u2013 S\u0259n u\u015faq olanda da dala\u015f\u0131rd\u0131lar?<br \/>\n\u2013 O q\u0259d\u0259r&#8230;<br \/>\n\u2013 B\u0259s niy\u0259 ayr\u0131lmay\u0131blar?<br \/>\n\u2013 M\u0259n d\u0259 anamdan bunu soru\u015fmu\u015fam. Deyir, bo\u015fanan qad\u0131na pis bax\u0131rlar. H\u0259m d\u0259 ax\u0131 anam he\u00e7 yanda i\u015fl\u0259mir&#8230;<br \/>\n\u2013 B\u0259s bu c\u00fcr \u00e7\u0131\u011f\u0131rt\u0131da u\u015faqlar\u0131n ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 psixi travma, b\u0259s narahat olan qon\u015fular?<br \/>\n\u2013 Anam deyir, b\u00fct\u00fcn ail\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 dava-dala\u015f olur.<br \/>\n\u2013 Bizd\u0259 olmay\u0131b.<br \/>\n\u2013 Hardan bilirs\u0259n?<br \/>\n\u2013 Yad\u0131ma g\u0259lmir.<br \/>\n\u2013 S\u0259n ananla az m\u00fcdd\u0259t bir yerd\u0259 olmusan, yad\u0131nda qalmay\u0131b.<br \/>\n\u2013 Y\u0259ni sava\u015fmayan \u0259r-arvad yoxdur?<br \/>\n\u2013 B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259, var.<br \/>\n\u2013 \u018frl\u0259 arvad niy\u0259 sava\u015f\u0131r?<br \/>\n\u2013 N\u0259 bilim, o q\u0259d\u0259r s\u0259b\u0259b var ki&#8230;<br \/>\n\u2013 M\u0259s\u0259l\u0259n&#8230;<br \/>\n\u2013 Bilmir\u0259m, \u0259mim arvad\u0131n\u0131 n\u0259n\u0259m\u0259 qay\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6st\u0259rm\u0259diyi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn d\u00f6y\u00fcr.<br \/>\n\u2013 D\u00f6y\u00fcr?<br \/>\n\u2013 H\u0259.<br \/>\n\u2013 Vayy!!! B\u0259s o neyn\u0259yir?<br \/>\n\u2013 Neyn\u0259sin ki? Qorxusundan \u0259mimin yan\u0131nda n\u0259n\u0259ml\u0259 mehriban olur.<br \/>\n\u2013 B\u0259s anangil niy\u0259 yol getmirl\u0259r?<br \/>\n\u2013 Anam atam\u0131 sevm\u0259yib. Onu zorla qa\u00e7\u0131r\u0131b. \u0130ndi anam qa\u015f-qabaql\u0131 olan kimi atam deyir m\u0259ni sevmirs\u0259n, kimis\u0259 xat\u0131rlay\u0131rsan.<br \/>\n\u2013 Atan haql\u0131d\u0131r?<br \/>\n\u2013 Yox.<br \/>\n\u2013 Anan deyib bunu?<br \/>\n\u2013 Atam\u0131n r\u0259ftar\u0131ndan bilir\u0259m.<br \/>\n\u2013 Bunlar s\u0259n\u0259 nec\u0259 t\u0259sir edir?<br \/>\n\u2013 \u00c7ox pis. \u0130kisinin d\u0259 \u0259lind\u0259n bezmi\u015f\u0259m. Bir d\u0259f\u0259 n\u0259n\u0259m\u0259 yalvard\u0131m ki, sizinl\u0259 qal\u0131m atamgild\u0259n qorxuram, q\u0131\u015f\u0131q\u0131r\u0131rlar. N\u0259n\u0259m dedi \u00f6z\u00fcm burda qonaq kimi s\u0131x\u0131l\u0131ram, \u0259midostun s\u0259ni d\u0259 ist\u0259m\u0259z. Bilirs\u0259n, adam g\u0259r\u0259k sevdiyi adamla ail\u0259 qursun ki, \u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fcy\u00fc g\u00fcnl\u0259ri havay\u0131 ke\u00e7irm\u0259sin, h\u0259r d\u0259qiq\u0259sind\u0259n z\u00f6vq als\u0131n.<br \/>\n\u2013 Bunu kim deyib s\u0259n\u0259?<br \/>\n\u2013 M\u00fc\u015fahid\u0259 etmi\u015f\u0259m. R\u0259fiq\u0259l\u0259rimin ail\u0259l\u0259ri \u00e7ox mehriband\u0131rlar. Onlarda olanda valideynl\u0259rinin bir-biri il\u0259 m\u00fcnasib\u0259tin\u0259 gizlic\u0259 g\u00f6z qoyuram. El\u0259 xo\u015fuma g\u0259lir ki. \u2013 Q\u0131z\u0131n g\u00f6zl\u0259ri ya\u015farm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Astadan \u0259lav\u0259 etdi \u2013 Sevm\u0259s\u0259m he\u00e7 k\u0259sl\u0259 ail\u0259 qurmayacam, \u00f6m\u00fcrl\u00fck t\u0259k ya\u015fayacam.<br \/>\nM\u00fct\u0259ssir olmu\u015fdu, ev sahibi g\u0259tirdiyi \u00e7ay\u0131 t\u0259kidl\u0259 i\u00e7irm\u0259s\u0259ydi q\u0259mgin-q\u0259mgin onlar\u0131 s\u00fczm\u0259y\u0259 davam ed\u0259c\u0259kdi. Bu evd\u0259n qurtulmaq ist\u0259yirdi. Yalan dan\u0131\u015fma\u011fa m\u0259cbur oldu.<br \/>\n\u2013 Ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131n, atam yaz\u0131b ki, g\u0259zm\u0259y\u0259 getm\u0259liyik. L\u0259ngiy\u0259 bilm\u0259r\u0259m.<br \/>\nR\u0259fiq\u0259sinin \u0259lind\u0259n birt\u0259h\u0259r \u00e7\u0131x\u0131b sa\u011folla\u015f\u0131b getdi.<br \/>\nNec\u0259 ola ki, eyni evd\u0259 sava\u015fa-sava\u015fa ya\u015fayasan? Qad\u0131n \u0259rini sevm\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259 nec\u0259 pis olurmu\u015f. Tutaq ki, ki\u015fi qad\u0131n\u0131 sevmir, onda nec\u0259 olur? Q\u0259rib\u0259dir. G\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n, ikisi d\u0259 bir-birini sevs\u0259l\u0259r yen\u0259 d\u0259 sava\u015farlar? Yoxsa sevib ail\u0259 quranda \u00f6m\u00fcr boyu mehriban ya\u015fay\u0131rlar? G\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n, atam he\u00e7 anama ac\u0131qlan\u0131b? B\u0259s anam atamla evl\u0259ndiyi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn pe\u015fmanl\u0131q ke\u00e7irib?<br \/>\nYol boyu \u00f6z-\u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 xeyli suallar vers\u0259 d\u0259, atas\u0131ndan bu bar\u0259d\u0259 soru\u015fma\u011fa utan\u0131rd\u0131. Qad\u0131n\u0131n s\u00f6zl\u0259rini xat\u0131rlad\u0131: \u201ch\u0259l\u0259 g\u0259ncs\u0259n \u00e7ox \u015feyd\u0259n x\u0259b\u0259rsizs\u0259n\u201d. N\u0259yi n\u0259z\u0259rd\u0259 tuturdu? Amma haql\u0131d\u0131r, indiy\u0259c\u0259n bel\u0259 bir ail\u0259 g\u00f6rm\u0259mi\u015fdim. \u0130lahi, bundan sonra n\u0259l\u0259r g\u00f6r\u0259c\u0259m?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u2013 Sevgi budur?<br \/>\n\u2013 N\u0259?<br \/>\n\u2013 S\u0259ni g\u00f6rm\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259 dar\u0131x\u0131ram.<br \/>\n\u2013 Sonra?<br \/>\n\u2013 G\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259 sevinir\u0259m.<br \/>\n\u2013 Ba\u015fqa?<br \/>\n\u2013 \u0130st\u0259yir\u0259m h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 bir yerd\u0259 olaq.<br \/>\n\u2013 \u00d6mr\u00fcn\u00fc m\u0259nd\u0259n ayr\u0131 t\u0259s\u0259vv\u00fcr edirs\u0259n?<br \/>\n\u2013 Yox.<br \/>\n\u2013 M\u0259ni incid\u0259rs\u0259n?<br \/>\n\u2013 Q\u0259tiyy\u0259n.<br \/>\n\u2013 Dem\u0259k, sevirs\u0259n.<br \/>\n\u2013 H\u0259.<br \/>\n\u2013 K\u00f6\u00e7 biz\u0259 g\u0259l.<br \/>\n\u2013 G\u0259l, apar.<br \/>\n\u201cG\u0259l, apar&#8230;\u201d yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 s\u00f6zl\u0259ri t\u0259krar n\u0259z\u0259rd\u0259n ke\u00e7irdi. Nec\u0259 y\u0259ni \u201cg\u0259l, apar\u201d b\u0259s atam? O t\u0259k qals\u0131n? Ax\u0131 \u00f6m\u00fcrl\u00fck atamla qalacaqd\u0131m, ona qay\u011f\u0131 g\u00f6st\u0259r\u0259c\u0259kdim, n\u0259 oldu m\u0259n\u0259?<br \/>\n\u2013 Burdasan?<br \/>\n\u0130nboksun divar\u0131ndan g\u0259l\u0259n \u00e7\u0131qq\u0131lt\u0131ya fikrid\u0259n ay\u0131ld\u0131.<br \/>\n\u2013 Burdayam.<br \/>\n\u2013 Niy\u0259 yazm\u0131rsan?<br \/>\n\u2013 Bir az narahatam, olar sonra yazaq?<br \/>\n\u2013 A\u011fr\u0131y\u0131rsan?<br \/>\n\u2013 Yox.<br \/>\n\u2013 Yax\u015f\u0131. Mesaj\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259y\u0259c\u0259m.<br \/>\n\u2013 Sa\u011f ol.<br \/>\nT\u0259r\u0259dd\u00fcd i\u00e7ind\u0259 idi. \u018fvv\u0259l-ax\u0131r bu evd\u0259n getm\u0259y\u0259 m\u0259cburdu. G\u0259lin k\u00f6\u00e7\u0259c\u0259kdi. Atas\u0131 t\u0259k qalacaqd\u0131. \u201cYox, he\u00e7 yana getm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259m\u201d des\u0259 d\u0259 hiss edirdi ki, q\u0259lbi onunla raz\u0131la\u015fm\u0131r. \u201cAtam da biziml\u0259 getsin. Buna raz\u0131 olmaz. Onda sevgilim biziml\u0259 qals\u0131n. O da raz\u0131 olmasa nec\u0259 olsun?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ne\u00e7\u0259 vaxt idi ki ondan x\u0259b\u0259r yox idi. Yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 mesajlara cavab g\u0259lmirdi. Telefona da z\u0259ng \u00e7atm\u0131rd\u0131. Narahat idi. \u201cBezdirdim y\u0259qin. Yoruldu. Ya da ail\u0259 qurmaq fikrind\u0259n da\u015f\u0131nd\u0131. B\u0259lk\u0259, x\u0259st\u0259dir&#8230;\u201d<br \/>\nSabah i\u015f yerin\u0259 getdi.<br \/>\nBinan\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda rastla\u015fd\u0131lar. El\u0259 bildi h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 oldu\u011fu kimi g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259yib qaba\u011f\u0131na g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k, g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fd\u00fckl\u0259rin\u0259 sevin\u0259c\u0259k. \u00dcz\u00fcnd\u0259ki k\u0259d\u0259r bu d\u0259f\u0259 bel\u0259 olmayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hiss etdirirdi.<br \/>\n\u2013 Nec\u0259s\u0259n?<br \/>\n\u2013 T\u0259\u015f\u0259kk\u00fcr edir\u0259m&#8230; \u2013 \u201cyax\u015f\u0131yam\u201d s\u00f6yl\u0259y\u0259 bilm\u0259di. \u201cS\u0259n nec\u0259s\u0259n?\u201d dey\u0259 d\u0259 soru\u015fmad\u0131. H\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 bir-birinin s\u0259hh\u0259tini x\u0259b\u0259r al\u0131r, ikisi d\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 olanda yax\u015f\u0131, pis olanda da \u201cpis\u0259m\u201d deyirdil\u0259r. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 reall\u0131qdan uzaqla\u015fa bilm\u0259di.<br \/>\n\u2013 Telefonun i\u015fl\u0259mir?<br \/>\n\u2013 Yox.<br \/>\n\u2013 Niy\u0259 ustaya g\u00f6st\u0259rmirs\u0259n?<br \/>\n\u2013 T\u0259nb\u0259llikd\u0259n.<br \/>\n\u2013 B\u0259s bilmirs\u0259n narahatam?<br \/>\n\u2013 Olma.<br \/>\n\u2013 Nolub s\u0259n\u0259?<br \/>\n\u2013 He\u00e7 n\u0259.<br \/>\n\u2013 G\u0259l. \u2013 deyib \u0259lind\u0259n tutub k\u0259nara \u00e7\u0259kdi: \u2013 Niy\u0259 bel\u0259 edirs\u0259n?<br \/>\n\u2013 He\u00e7, bir az i\u015fl\u0259rim \u00e7oxdur, yor\u011funam.<br \/>\n\u2013 Bunu dem\u0259k \u00e7\u0259tindir b\u0259y\u0259m? Yaz\u0131b bildir\u0259 bilm\u0259zdin?<br \/>\n\u2013 H\u0259&#8230; ba\u011f\u0131\u015fla.<br \/>\n\u2013 Ged\u0259k bir az h\u0259rl\u0259n\u0259k.<br \/>\n\u2013 Ged\u0259 bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259m.<br \/>\n\u2013 Niy\u0259 ax\u0131?<br \/>\n\u2013 \u0130\u015fim \u00e7oxdur.<br \/>\n\u2013 G\u00f6zl\u0259y\u0259r\u0259m.<br \/>\n\u2013 Gec olar.<br \/>\n\u2013 B\u0259han\u0259 axtar\u0131rsan.<br \/>\n\u2013 Yox.<br \/>\n\u2013 H\u0259!<br \/>\n\u2013 Yox.<br \/>\n\u2013 Evl\u0259nm\u0259y\u0259 q\u0259rar ver\u0259 bilmirs\u0259n, pe\u015fmansan ona g\u00f6r\u0259 qa\u00e7\u0131rsan.<br \/>\n\u2013 H\u0259.<br \/>\n\u2013 Dem\u0259k, bel\u0259?<br \/>\n\u2013 H\u0259.<br \/>\n\u2013 Bilirdim, ax\u0131rda qa\u00e7acaqsan, t\u0259k ya\u015fama\u011fa al\u0131\u015fm\u0131san.<br \/>\n\u2013 H\u0259.<br \/>\n\u2013 Bunu a\u00e7\u0131q dey\u0259 bil\u0259rdin, gizl\u0259nm\u0259y\u0259 g\u0259r\u0259k yox idi. Yax\u015f\u0131, nec\u0259 ist\u0259yirs\u0259n, el\u0259 olsun.<br \/>\n\u2013 Anlay\u0131\u015f\u0131n \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn t\u0259\u015f\u0259kk\u00fcr edir\u0259m.<br \/>\nAc\u0131qland\u0131\u011f\u0131 bilinirdi. Sa\u011folla\u015fmadan ev\u0259 \u00f6nd\u00fc.<br \/>\nQad\u0131nsa a\u011f\u0131r add\u0131mlarla i\u015f\u0259 qay\u0131td\u0131. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u0259l\u0259 alma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. A\u011flamamaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc ovundururdu.<\/p>\n<p>\u00c7arpay\u0131ya uzan\u0131b d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00fcnahland\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131. \u201cYordum onu. S\u0259hl\u0259nkarl\u0131\u011f\u0131mla, diqq\u0259tsizliyiml\u0259 bezdirdim. Uzaqdan-uza\u011fa bel\u0259 yorulubsa, birg\u0259 ya\u015fayandan sonra z\u0259hl\u0259sini daha \u00e7ox t\u00f6k\u0259c\u0259yimd\u0259n narahat olub evl\u0259nm\u0259kd\u0259n boyun qa\u00e7\u0131r\u0131r. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259, q\u0131z\u0131mla yola getm\u0259yi d\u0259rd edib \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259\u201d.<br \/>\nN\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r g\u00f6t\u00fcr-qoy edirdis\u0259, q\u0259rar ver\u0259 bilmirdi. Sevirdi. Ayr\u0131lmaq \u00e7\u0259tin idi. Ba\u011flanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Amma bunu s\u00f6yl\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 mane olan n\u0259 idis\u0259, onu anlaya bilmirdi. \u201cNec\u0259 ist\u0259yirs\u0259n, el\u0259 olsun\u201d \u2013 nahaq bel\u0259 dedim&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>K\u00f6nl\u00fcm\u00fc almaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn n\u0259 bir k\u0259lm\u0259 xo\u015f s\u00f6z, n\u0259 d\u0259 \u201cayr\u0131lmayaq\u201d dedi. Dem\u0259k, \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259n imi\u015f. Q\u0131z\u0131 evl\u0259nm\u0259yimizi ist\u0259m\u0259diyini dem\u0259y\u0259 c\u0259sar\u0259ti \u00e7atmad\u0131. F\u00fcrs\u0259t g\u00f6zl\u0259yirmi\u015f ki, imtina edim.<br \/>\nTelevizoru a\u00e7\u0131b qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda \u0259yl\u0259\u015fdi. Eynini a\u00e7ma\u011fa \u0259yl\u0259nc\u0259li proqram axtard\u0131. Pultun d\u00fcym\u0259l\u0259rini b\u0259rk, h\u0259m d\u0259 tez-tez s\u0131xd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hiss etmirdi. G\u00f6z\u00fc ekranda, fikri uzaqlarda idi.<br \/>\n\u201cNec\u0259 ist\u0259yirs\u0259n, el\u0259 olsun\u201d \u2013 G\u00fcn boyu beynind\u0259 min d\u0259f\u0259 t\u0259krarlad\u0131.<br \/>\n\u00dcr\u0259yis\u0259 ba\u015fqa \u015feyl\u0259r deyrdi. Az qala u\u015fa\u011fa t\u0259pnirmi\u015f kimi \u201ck\u0259s s\u0259sini\u201d dey\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259yin\u0259 ac\u0131qlanacaqd\u0131. Hiss edirdi ki, a\u011fl\u0131 il\u0259 \u00fcr\u0259yinin \u0259lind\u0259 qal\u0131b. Yox, a\u011f\u0131l da \u00fcr\u0259y\u0259 tabe olmu\u015fdu. Onu ist\u0259m\u0259diyi s\u0259mt\u0259 y\u00f6n\u0259ld\u0259n. Q\u0131za verdiyi s\u00f6z idi. \u201c\u00c7al\u0131\u015faram\u201d demi\u015fdi. \u00c7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n<p>\u0130ndi atas\u0131ndan daha tez-tez icaz\u0259 al\u0131rd\u0131. H\u0259r d\u0259f\u0259 bir b\u0259han\u0259 il\u0259. Buna g\u00f6r\u0259 pe\u015fmanl\u0131q hissi duysa da, sevglisi il\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdi. Getdikc\u0259 atas\u0131n\u0131 sev\u0259n qad\u0131na haqs\u0131zl\u0131q etdiyini anlay\u0131rd\u0131. \u201cO atam\u0131 sevir. \u0130nsan sevm\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259 nec\u0259 soyuqqanl\u0131 olurmu\u015f. Onun hissl\u0259rini duymam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Atam bu bar\u0259d\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fmasa da, bilir\u0259m ki, o da sevir. \u201cSevimlidir\u201d demi\u015fdi. Haql\u0131d\u0131r. S\u00f6hb\u0259t etm\u0259y\u0259 d\u0259v\u0259t ed\u0259nd\u0259 ac\u0131qlanacaqd\u0131m. \u00dcz\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259n sonra i\u00e7imd\u0259 q\u0259rib\u0259 hissl\u0259r ba\u015fq qald\u0131rd\u0131. El\u0259 bildim \u00e7oxdan g\u00f6rm\u0259diyim yax\u0131n adam\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Xo\u015f t\u0259sir ba\u011f\u0131\u015flad\u0131. M\u0259ni s\u0259rt olma\u011fa m\u0259cbur ed\u0259n q\u0131sqncl\u0131q hissi imi\u015f. Atam\u0131 q\u0131sqand\u0131m ona. Anam\u0131n ruhunun narahat olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ist\u0259m\u0259dim. Yox, g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u0259liy\u0259m qad\u0131nla. Atam ne\u00e7\u0259 vaxtd\u0131r kefsizdir. Bilir\u0259m niy\u0259 bel\u0259dir. Qad\u0131n verdiyi s\u00f6z\u00fcn \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 durub g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u00fcr. \u00dcmidini \u00fcz\u00fcb qad\u0131ndan. M\u00fctl\u0259q g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u0259liy\u0259m onunla\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>Q\u00fcrur g\u00f6z\u0259l hissdir. \u0130nsan\u0131 l\u0259yaq\u0259tli ed\u0259n odur. Sevgid\u0259 is\u0259 q\u00fcrur g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259k xo\u015fb\u0259xtliyin qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 k\u0259sir. N\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r q\u00fcrurunu \u0259zizl\u0259s\u0259, sevgisind\u0259n o q\u0259d\u0259r uzaqla\u015faca\u011f\u0131n\u0131, \u00f6mr\u00fcn\u00fcn sonunad\u0259k t\u0259hna h\u0259sr\u0259t i\u00e7ind\u0259 qalaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259rk edirdi. \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc danlay\u0131rd\u0131: \u201cSevgid\u0259 q\u00fcrur g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259k ayr\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 k\u00f6n\u00fcll\u00fc d\u0259v\u0259t etm\u0259kdir. Qulaqlar\u0131nda n\u0259\u011fm\u0259 s\u0259sl\u0259ndi: &#8220;S\u0259n\u0259 olan e\u015fqimi, s\u0259n\u0259 d\u0259 al\u00e7altmaram&#8221;. Yox, bu ba\u015fqa m\u0259nadad\u0131r. Sevdiyinl\u0259 r\u0259ftarda &#8220;bu m\u0259n\u0259 yara\u015fmaz&#8221;, &#8220;bunu etm\u0259r\u0259m&#8221; fikirl\u0259rini \u0259sas g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcrs\u0259ns\u0259, dem\u0259k, a\u011f\u0131ll\u0131san. A\u011f\u0131ll\u0131 olmaq sevm\u0259m\u0259kdir. Bundan bet\u0259ri is\u0259 eqonu b\u0259sl\u0259m\u0259kdir. &#8220;\u018fvv\u0259lc\u0259 o el\u0259sin&#8221;, &#8220;birinci o bar\u0131\u015fs\u0131n&#8221; kimi eqoist yana\u015fma qar\u015f\u0131 t\u0259r\u0259fin sevgisini \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fcr. Bar\u0131\u015f\u0131q \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn uzanan \u0259li eqonun ucbat\u0131ndan geri qaytaranda m\u0259h\u0259bb\u0259t hissinin yerini pe\u015fmanl\u0131qla al\u0131r. Q\u00fcrur g\u00f6z\u0259l hissdir, bax\u0131r kim\u0259 g\u00f6st\u0259r\u0259s\u0259n. Eqoistlik is\u0259&#8230; yox, s\u0259hv edir\u0259m. Ayr\u0131la bilm\u0259r\u0259m. M\u00fcmk\u00fcn deyil\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>Z\u0259ngi bas\u0131b h\u0259y\u0259canla g\u00f6zl\u0259di. \u201cEvd\u0259 olacaq, istirah\u0259t g\u00fcn\u00fcd\u00fcr\u201d. Sanki ilk g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u0259 g\u0259lmi\u015fdi. \u018fvv\u0259ll\u0259r bu q\u0259d\u0259r k\u00f6vr\u0259k deyildi.<br \/>\nQap\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131land\u0131, sevincini gizl\u0259d\u0259 bilm\u0259di. Ona el\u0259 g\u0259ldi ki, aylard\u0131r bir-birini g\u00f6rm\u00fcrl\u0259r. Ba\u011fr\u0131na basmaq ist\u0259di. Utand\u0131. \u201cEl\u0259 bil\u0259r buna g\u00f6r\u0259 g\u0259lmi\u015f\u0259m\u201d. Qollar\u0131n\u0131 yan\u0131nda g\u00fccl\u0259 saxlad\u0131.<br \/>\n\u2013 \u0130\u00e7\u0259ri d\u0259v\u0259t etm\u0259k fikrin yoxdur?<br \/>\n\u2013 Buyur.<br \/>\n\u2013 Yax\u015f\u0131 ki, yad\u0131na sald\u0131m.<br \/>\nGeri \u00e7\u0259kilib yol verdi. Zal\u0131 g\u00f6st\u0259rib \u201cke\u00e7\u201d dedi. Lakin he\u00e7 biri t\u0259rp\u0259nm\u0259di. \u00dcz-\u00fcz\u0259 dayand\u0131lar.<br \/>\n\u2013 Yoruldun m\u0259nd\u0259n, h\u0259?<br \/>\n\u2013 Q\u0259sd\u0259n yorurdun?<br \/>\n\u2013 Cavab ver.<br \/>\n\u2013 S\u0259n cavab ver.<br \/>\n\u2013 H\u00f6c\u0259tlik etm\u0259!<br \/>\n\u2013 S\u0259n d\u0259!<br \/>\n\u2013 Nolub s\u0259n\u0259?<br \/>\n\u2013 He\u00e7 n\u0259.<br \/>\n\u2013 Olub ax\u0131.<br \/>\n\u2013 S\u0259n\u0259 n\u0259 olubsa, m\u0259n\u0259 d\u0259 ondan olub.<br \/>\n\u2013 M\u0259n\u0259 he\u00e7 n\u0259 olmay\u0131b.<br \/>\n\u2013 Olmasayd\u0131&#8230;<br \/>\n\u0130r\u0259li g\u0259lib qolundan tutub g\u00f6zl\u0259rinin i\u00e7in\u0259 baxd\u0131:<br \/>\n\u2013 Olmasayd\u0131?<br \/>\n\u2013 &#8230;<br \/>\n\u2013 Neyn\u0259y\u0259rdim olmasayd\u0131?<br \/>\n\u2013 He\u00e7 n\u0259.<br \/>\n\u2013 T\u0259k ya\u015fama\u011fa al\u0131\u015fm\u0131san, qay\u011f\u0131m\u0131 \u00e7\u0259km\u0259kd\u0259n qorxdun.<br \/>\n\u2013 S\u0259n d\u0259 \u201cqorxma\u201d dem\u0259din. Nec\u0259 ist\u0259yirs\u0259n, el\u0259 olsun dedin.<br \/>\n\u2013 H\u0259, dem\u0259dim&#8230; \u00e7\u00fcnki \u00f6z\u00fcm daha \u00e7ox qorxuram&#8230;<br \/>\n\u2013 N\u0259d\u0259n qorxas\u0131san ki?<br \/>\n\u2013 S\u0259ni itirm\u0259kd\u0259n.<br \/>\nCan\u0131ndan xo\u015f gizilti ke\u00e7di. H\u0259yata bird\u0259n-bir\u0259 t\u0259z\u0259d\u0259n g\u0259lm\u0259k, t\u0259z\u0259d\u0259n sevm\u0259k ist\u0259di. \u00dczd\u0259 is\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc s\u0259rt g\u00f6st\u0259rm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015fd\u0131:<br \/>\n\u2013 Burax qolumu!<br \/>\n\u2013 Buraxm\u0131ram, n\u0259 qolunu n\u0259 d\u0259 s\u0259ni&#8230;<br \/>\n\u2013 Niy\u0259? N\u0259yin\u0259m s\u0259nin?<br \/>\n\u2013 Sus&#8230;<br \/>\n\u2013 Yadam s\u0259n\u0259.<br \/>\n\u2013 Yad deyils\u0259n, yad kimi g\u00f6st\u0259rirs\u0259n. Bizim g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 zaman\u0131m\u0131zm\u0131 var? \u00d6mr\u00fcn yar\u0131s\u0131 gedib. Y\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015f.<br \/>\n\u2013 Hara?<br \/>\n\u2013 Biz\u0259.<br \/>\n\u2013 Yox!<br \/>\n\u2013 H\u0259!<br \/>\n\u2013 Olmaz!<br \/>\n\u2013 Olar.<br \/>\n\u2013 T\u0259kba\u015f\u0131na q\u0259rar veril\u0259c\u0259k i\u015f deyil.<br \/>\n\u2013 Kimd\u0259n soru\u015fmal\u0131y\u0131q?<br \/>\n\u2013 \u00d6vladlar\u0131m\u0131zdan.<br \/>\n\u2013 Etiraz etmirl\u0259r demi\u015fdin.<br \/>\n\u2013 S\u0259nin d\u0259 \u00f6vlad\u0131n var.<br \/>\n\u2013 Y\u0131\u011f\u0131\u015f dedim!<br \/>\n\u2013 Bel\u0259 olmaz.<br \/>\n\u2013 T\u0259rslik etm\u0259. Gedib nikah \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u0259riz\u0259 yazaca\u011f\u0131q.<br \/>\n\u2013 M\u0259n\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259 \u00f6vlad\u0131nla m\u00fcnasib\u0259tini korlama.<br \/>\n\u2013 Q\u0131z\u0131m m\u0259n\u0259 etiraz etm\u0259yib.<br \/>\n\u2013 M\u0259n\u0259&#8230; \u2013 \u201cm\u0259n\u0259 edib\u201d dey\u0259c\u0259kdi&#8230; amma susdu.<br \/>\nTelefonun s\u0259si s\u00f6hb\u0259ti yar\u0131da k\u0259sdi. Baxd\u0131. O idi. A\u00e7mad\u0131. Soru\u015fsayd\u0131 ki, atam s\u0259ninl\u0259dir, yalan dey\u0259 bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdi. D\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc d\u0259 dem\u0259k ist\u0259mirdi. Q\u0259rib\u0259 v\u0259ziyy\u0259t yaranm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<br \/>\n\u2013 Yax\u015f\u0131, bir az vaxt ver, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcm.<br \/>\n\u2013 D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259y\u0259 vaxt yoxdur.<br \/>\n\u201cD\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259y\u0259 d\u0259 vaxt yoxdur&#8230;\u201d S\u00f6z \u00f6z\u00fcyl\u0259 b\u0259rab\u0259r qorxu g\u0259tirdi. \u00d6mr\u0259 etibar varm\u0131?<br \/>\nQap\u0131dan o yanda onlar\u0131 xo\u015fb\u0259xtlikmi, pe\u015fmanl\u0131qm\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdi, bunu bilmirdi. Bildiyi t\u0259k \u015fey bu idi ki, sevgi var, o gec d\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259 bilirmi\u015f&#8230; \u018flind\u0259n tutub g\u0259ldiyin yollarla s\u0259ni geriy\u0259 \u2013 \u00fcr\u0259kdolusu ya\u015famad\u0131\u011f\u0131n ill\u0259r\u0259 t\u0259z\u0259d\u0259n apar\u0131r, harda n\u0259yi buraxm\u0131sansa, onu y\u0131\u011fa-y\u0131\u011fa qay\u0131d\u0131r. Son dey\u0259 bir \u015fey yoxdur. Bitdiyini z\u0259nn etdiyin h\u0259r n\u0259sn\u0259 n\u0259yins\u0259 ba\u015flang\u0131c\u0131 olur. \u018fg\u0259r ba\u015flam\u011fa c\u0259sar\u0259tin varsa&#8230;<br \/>\nTelefonun ekran\u0131nda z\u0259ng edildiyini bildir\u0259n q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 i\u015far\u0259 qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>P\u0259rvan\u0259 Bayramq\u0131z\u0131 \u2013 N\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn atamla evl\u0259nm\u0259k ist\u0259yirs\u0259n? \u2013 Atan\u0131 sevir\u0259m. \u2013 Sevdiyiniz \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn evl\u0259ndiyinizi n\u0259d\u0259n bilim? \u2013 A\u011fl\u0131na ba\u015fqa hans\u0131 s\u0259b\u0259b g\u0259lir? \u2013 B\u0259lk\u0259, evin\u0259 sahib olmaq ist\u0259yirsiniz? \u2013 Evim var. \u2013 Puluna. \u2013 Ona da ehtiyac\u0131m yoxdur. \u2013 Qad\u0131n g\u00fcl\u00fcms\u0259yib \u0259lav\u0259 etdi: \u2013 \u00d6vladlar\u0131m h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 pul g\u00f6nd\u0259rirl\u0259r, \u00f6z\u00fcm d\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259yir\u0259m. \u2013 Niy\u0259 \u00f6vladlar\u0131n\u0131zla [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1661,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dilimizvarligimiz.az\/api\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1660"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dilimizvarligimiz.az\/api\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dilimizvarligimiz.az\/api\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dilimizvarligimiz.az\/api\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dilimizvarligimiz.az\/api\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1660"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/dilimizvarligimiz.az\/api\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1660\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1662,"href":"https:\/\/dilimizvarligimiz.az\/api\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1660\/revisions\/1662"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dilimizvarligimiz.az\/api\/wp\/v2\/media\/1661"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dilimizvarligimiz.az\/api\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1660"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dilimizvarligimiz.az\/api\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1660"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dilimizvarligimiz.az\/api\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1660"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}